|Inarticulate and ill-formed starting point
||[Dec. 1st, 2007|02:51 pm]
This might be your mother's feminism
This is probably going to sound very blamey. That's because I'm talking about my mother in law (since my father in law had NO INPUT WHATSOEVER because that's why god gave us gender roles) but not because I think she was operating as the sole blamable wossname in a vacuum.|
I think there's a wife mother and housewife thing where to be perfect she has to keep the house spotless and do all the housework and cooking and cleaning and laundry and childrearing. I think that's why her son left home unable to cook, clean, shop for groceries (recent quote: "Of course he can't, he's a man!"), do his own laundry, remember to wash regularly without reminder, or, you know, any number of other basic life skills. He functions best (by which I mean most comfortably) in the manner of, say, a primary school age child - a very set routine, where everything he does at home he's reminded about a few times, from getting up, through eating, washing, and leaving the house on time, and again when he returns, from taking his coat off, eating, washing, whatever. This lack of responsibility for his own actions holds true for all sorts of things - calling his mother (she thinks it's my job to remind him to call her), sending birthday cards to his aunt (they all think it's my job to buy the card and ensure it gets posted), etc.
Now, he doesn't believe any of this crap, but he has a lot of behaviour patterns tied into it, which, because he's not a dickhead, he's working on changing. But I'm pretty sure that it's all tied into a sort of 1950s Stepford Wives childrearing thing, raising men to be helpless and depend on a proper wife at home.
Can someone more articulate please articulate what I'm talking about?