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This might be your mother's feminism

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At each other's throats [Apr. 17th, 2008|11:26 pm]
This might be your mother's feminism

motherism

[ailbhe]
I really hate the mothers-against-mothers stuff. I have particular aspects of it I particularly hate, chief among them the idea that mothers who have other jobs / do not have other jobs are not proper mothers / not proper workers. I use the phrases "part-time mother" and "doesn't work" when I'm talking about this.

And today I hurt a mother who wasn't familiar with my heavily sarcastic use of the phrases. She knows me well enough to be able to work out that I don't actually think mothers who have other jobs are bad mothers, or part-time mothers, but the issue is so nasty that the phrase made her wince.

How can mothers express their own opinions to each other without it being an automatic attack? So much of the language is so loaded. I quite see that sarcasm doesn't help, but I get so ANGRY.

Grr.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: ailbhe
2008-04-18 09:43 am (UTC)
I do believe very strongly that people who want to stay home and look after their kids 24/7 should be able to, and that people who want to work and have some of the childcare done by professionals with facilities or equipment or training (or just more patience!) should be able to do that. And "able" covers economics as well as social acceptability.

I get the general impression that mothers in paid employment are seen as more "normal" in the UK and Ireland than in the US and Canada, in that they come up against less overt flak for not staying at home, and that stay at home mothers come up against more flak for not working (depriving their children of money and its products, or of formal preschool and its facilities, etc, not to mention sponging off their partners like leeches).
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