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This might be your mother's feminism

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At each other's throats [Apr. 17th, 2008|11:26 pm]
This might be your mother's feminism

motherism

[ailbhe]
I really hate the mothers-against-mothers stuff. I have particular aspects of it I particularly hate, chief among them the idea that mothers who have other jobs / do not have other jobs are not proper mothers / not proper workers. I use the phrases "part-time mother" and "doesn't work" when I'm talking about this.

And today I hurt a mother who wasn't familiar with my heavily sarcastic use of the phrases. She knows me well enough to be able to work out that I don't actually think mothers who have other jobs are bad mothers, or part-time mothers, but the issue is so nasty that the phrase made her wince.

How can mothers express their own opinions to each other without it being an automatic attack? So much of the language is so loaded. I quite see that sarcasm doesn't help, but I get so ANGRY.

Grr.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: radegund
2008-04-20 08:56 pm (UTC)
Hmm. Part of it, I think, is that any choice a woman makes, whether or not she's a mother, is somehow up for discussion and judgement.
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From: lcwasser
2008-05-01 08:56 am (UTC)
YES!!! (And yes, I meant to shout.)

My husband works full time. In fact, he runs his own business and works constantly. Why is no one judging him? Is he a "working father" or a "part time dad"? No one thinks to talk about what he does.

Mothers who work as mothers and also work for pay do so for a lot of reasons and none of those reasons is anyone else's business. Mothers who mother and decide not to also work for pay do so for a lot of reasons and none of those reasons are anyone else's business.

Every mother is a working mother. Some mothers also work for pay.

I worked as a mother for 27 years. Now I work as a mother and also as an English tutor. I don't apologize or rationalize my life choices. Men don't. Why should I?

Liza
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